This is what the first batch of my crochet blizzard looks like after getting soaked in fabric stiffener (if that's what it's called), pinned and dried.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Hey, I started something big and I am a bit stuck. I am working on a crochet blanket made of snowflake granny squares. I can't make my mind up about assembly though. I need input! Leave a comment about which pattern you suggest: diagonal, paralell or random?
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
I want to stitch but I don't want to finish projects.
I want to spend less time on social media but I want to know everything that happens.
I want to watch less TV but I want to know what happens with my favourite characters.
I love the way long hair looks but I prefer the way short hair feels.
I love how I look with make up but I hate how my skin can't breathe.
I love wearing short skirts but I hate the reactions it provokes from strangers.
I love listening to the same song again and again but I miss hearing new ones.
I want to be in a relationship but I can't stand the idea of being with a man.
I love long nails but they get in the way.
I love comfy, baggy clothes but I hate how they make me look like a bum.
I love being a woman but I hate not having the same options as a man.
I love cats but I hate cat hair.
I love dogs but I hate their needy tail wagging.
I love being single but I hate being alone.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
I wrote the lines above...two and a half years ago. It seems like ages ago. I have finished all those projects but the issue still remains. Little Wings and Isabella's Garden are but a few hours away from being completed and I cannot seem to be able to bring myself to finish them. Why?
It's not like I would run out of things to stitch. I have over 30 projects in my WIP pile. Might be 40 or 50, I no longer keep count.
What is wrong with me? I have this unfightable urge to create, I love seeing the project go, when I am a week or two to go, all I ever think about, all I wanna do, is stitch. And then I reach a point where only the last touches need to be applied, and that is the point where I freeze. I can not touch it. I can't even bear looking at it. But why?
Several times I have tried to force myself. I sit down with the project on my usual spot. And I panic. I get nauseous, I can't breathe, my hands are shaking. I get physically ill. And it annoys me. I like thinking I'm rational. I'm logical. I'm an adult. I yearn for a finish. I want to wash and press them, I want to get them framed and show off to the world. But I am unable to.
Does anyone else get like this? Do you know why? Can I just not let go of my projects?
Friday, November 7, 2014
Thursday, November 6, 2014
I was nineteen and obsessed with teen fashion magazines. Several times I read in interviews with famous singers and actresses that they started out as models because they were shy and thought modelling would help that. I was very shy, so I thought I'd give it a go. I did, and I never regretted it. I found an agency that would teach girls the essentials, then organized contests and hand pick the ones that would get a contract. They offered several training packages, and, incidentally, the ones who would pick the most expensive package would be the ones that got through to the next round. Fascinating coincidence, isn't it?